Watching the sunrise on the rigid jetty.  Our bikes are leaned against the rocks and there are no footsteps to follow.  The ocean to the left and the river to the right.  Peace and comfort stepped into my eyes and the beam of the radiant light perced through the thick clouds in the distance.  B1 and B2 are taking pictures of the morning break.  Few are on the beach, including the small crab I tried to pick up.  He snapped and I didn't catch him.  This was a time to remember.  Life is so good.

I went camping last night when I found out fellowship was cancelled today.  I'd have gone to church, but I opted for Jax Beach instead.  Only B1 and B2 went camping.  I didn't want it to be a you, me and dupree situation but originally more folks were suppose to come but didn't.  My friend ended up meeting at the other beach and I am blacker than ever.  Ninety-eight in October.  What a life.

I was on the brink of feeling meloncoly about my poverty, but camping was free so I figured why not.  White people really love to camp.  Never do I hear a black person say, "hey we should go camping this weekend!".  Never.  Pretending to be without and finding difficulty; is what the privleged live for.

I want to live outside of duval county.  Somewhere where seasons change maybe.  I don't know.  I love the beach so much.

I posed the question earlier today at the campground:  "What is man's greatest weakness?"

B1 and B2 agreed that closed-mindedness and ignorance were their answer.  I texted a few people.  A few said women, a few said the opposite sex, one said money, one said pride, one said people in general, and one said the mind. 

To all of these answers I agree to a certain extent.  They are all great downfalls in many cases to a said situation of man, but I do believe man's greatest weakness is his unbelief.  Sitting on the jetty that looked staight out of the movie scene of free willy, the question just came to me.  Then the answer came to me from a movie I once saw.

If you can't believe that women can be your greatest strength, then they can in-turn be your greatest weakness.  If you can't believe that money isn't real, then it will more often, have power over your decisions than not.  If you can't believe that your mind and thoughts are able to be controlled in a productive and successive manner, then you are more prone to become your worse enemy.

To me its not what you believe, but what you don't believe.  Which is actually tied in some way to every answer, I recieved.  It goes back to the "hope" blog.  We are not built to stay the same.  We were created to adapt and I do believe in people and their ability to change even when they believe they can not.  I believe in people because I first believe in God.  I believe God can answer any and every question.  He can answer it through people or great works.  If I don't believe that then my greatest weakness is met and life is further meaningless.

These blogs lately have been ending with God stuff.  I start out thinking of one thing I want to write then I remember something else I was thinking it just flows out.  I hope they're not boring or dismissive, but its very difficult for me to deny what I feel.

Point:  Camping was great.  Believing is not a choice absorbed initially by the 5 senses.  Touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing.  That is why it is extremely important.  (To Me!)

There was something important I was suppose to do but I forgot.

Thanksgiving Plans:
My mom is going to New York for thanksgiving.  My stepdad always works on thanksgiving.  What to do?  I'm thinking of driving to Maryland.  One- to see the former love of my life slash bff.  Two- my youngest sister's boyfriend has his last game the weekend before the holiday at  so it would also be cool to also see him ride the bench.  I'll probably just be in warm old Florida but its a nice thought.

Monica:
Monica was here last night at some club and my friend asked me out to see her.  Nyce jesture but I really wasn't in the mood.  I had just come from church and the golden girls were wild'n'out.  It was also nice considering he would be treating me even though I still haven't given him the laptop he paid for in advance from like 2 weeks ago.  So after I turned him down I asked my crush in the canary dress what she was doing.  She said she felt like dancing, which prompted me to then immediately get into the mood to go out and shake a tail feather.  Good decision.

Walking out the club w/ my crush, I see my stripper friend that liked me and will continue to let me know i blew her off everytime i see her.  She's pulling out the parking space and looking very wasted.  I walk up to the car with my crush and after one look in her eyes offer to drive her home.  She refused.  Why do drunk people always refuse.  Plus i didn't see her very sexy bestfriend anywhere.  A random guy behind us said he was following her home.  I talked to the guy for a second and he looked straight, like he do this all the time.  I feel really bad for letting her drive.  But I called and talked to her then she brought up some ole'

me:  hey girl how you doing. you okay.
stripper: yea! you never liked me, but its okay
me: man why are you bringing this up now.  where you at? i'm just trying to make sure you get home safe.
stripper:  (slurried words):  i know you didn't like me, so don't say anything...
me:  (pause because its kind of true):  yo! where you at?  i like you
stripper:  don't lie JAAAHHMAAALLLLAAAA!..is that girl you were with your girlfriend?
me: i'm not lying and no that girl is not my girlfriend.
stipper:  oh! (surprised) well, okay, i'm home.  call me tomorrow.
me:  okay then sleep well.

The Bike continued:
So my crush drives a stick shift and we had to learn to drive them for work so I'm feeling more confident.  In the back of her car what do I see!  Thats right, the bike I gave her.  It hasn't been out of her car.  She gives me the speal about her having a hurt back and blah blah blah.  (new rule, never ever, give a female whom is not related to me anything ever again...maybe).  I can deal with other failed expenditures, but I really liked that bike.  I like it so much that it would give it away in the hope that a person I like could use it. 

Point in the bike:
Contemplating about the bike in her car trying to unflare my nostrils and then thinking about the bike today made me look at the situation in a spiritual way.  The bike is the hope.

Our God created us for his purpose.  He gave us life.  He created our life in love.  He gave us life in the hope that we will grow to learn Him on earth and live with him in eternity.  Some people believe this and therefore apprechiate God even the more for the life that they've been given.  Not that there life is right or moral, but for the simple fact that they have life.  Consciousness.  Some people live there whole life, never coming to understand that our years on earth are a gift from above.  God knows this, but that did not stop Him for creating the people he created.  He created us in hope for His purpose.  He even created us in the knowlege of our unapprechiation and misunderstanding.  That is Love.

(Back to the bike)
I'm happy she has the bike because I gave it to her even if it sits back there for another month.  But I did give her the bike in the hope that she would enjoy riding it on the beach.  I knew there was a good chance she wouldn't ride it much but I still gave her the bike.