so i have a date on saturday night with my former crush. i told my friend about it but she said it wasn't a date. maybe its not. what i do know is that its me and her and she's paying for the festivities and i am attracted to her. call it what you will.
its funny too because i was just thinking about how much time and money i've wasted on persuing the same sex and said to myself, "man, its been slim pickings that a pretty little someone would ask me out and pay for something for me...what a waste." then the same day i get a text from the canary asking me to hookah as a thank you for the football tickets. nice. maybe she looked at the damn bike and felt bad. whatever the reason, i'm not concerned with really.
i wasn't excited at first, even contemplating cancelling it. then earlier today i got excited, but now i'm back to not being excited and uninterested. the truth is i'm mostly thinking about this family and baby situation and don't want this one encounter to derail my intended plans. or the intended plans set before me. its just hookah but the slightest slip can make the biggest difference. no pressure.
"Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me - but i will not be mastered by anything." 1 Corinthians 6:12. This verse is so relevant to my many thoughts, and when i think of the most beneficial way to conduct my life and to be happy it involves doing what is most beneficial for my entire well being. mentally, physically, spritually, and emotionally. i do understand its not an issued solved by rings or birth...its something else.
point: i can't sit on the fence to long or make a mountain out of a mole hill. take the things as they come and apprechiate each step. (good or bad).